What are some tips for choosing a spouse and avoiding divorce?

Most people want to find someone with whom they can share the rest of their lives. But, with divorce rates constantly rising, it can be unsettling to think about marriage. No one wants to experience the pain of divorce. Luckily, some of our readers have shared some tips to help you in your effort to find a spouse and avoid divorce.

Nancy Landrum

Nancy Landrum

Nancy Landrum, MA, Author, Relationship Coach for RelationshipRehabCoach.com.

Nine Important Points to Consider

If you can say “yes” to these nine points, you have a good chance of finding a partner for the happy, loving relationship you’ve always wanted.

1. Set a boundary of no sex until you are both committed to a lifetime partnership. Premature sex muddies the emotional water, creating a physical/emotional connection before giving you time to know this person’s character. Just because you are sexually attracted to someone doesn’t mean that he /she has the qualities of a great, lifetime lover.

2. Pay attention to how they treat their family members, co-workers, or friends. Are they consistently respectful? Do others who have known them over time admire them or hold them in high esteem?

3. Is this person courteous? Do they respond in a reasonable time to calls or texts? Are they flexible when unforeseen interruptions require a change in plans?

4. Are they able to express a preference or be firm about a boundary? Do they honor a boundary that is important to you?

5. When there is a difference of opinion, do they listen respectfully to your thoughts, concerns, or feelings?

6. When thoughtless or hurtful, do they apologize with sincerity?

7. Do you know enough to believe that there is no history of abandoned romantic relationships?

8. Does this person share your goals for a stable, long-lasting partnership? Do they share your desire for children or no children?

9. Are they clear about their professional goals? Are they pursuing training or education to improve their future?

Find Someone Who is a Good Person

Finding a life partner is a challenging task because it is a matter of life. Invest your time in deciding who is suitable for you and who is not.

Find Someone Who is a Good Human
Whatever the situation, a reasonable person is always a decent person. You can rely on your partner in any situation if they are a good person. They will never deceive you or make you feel uneasy.

Do Not Rush into Marriage
Do not make a rash decision about your marriage. Take the time to get to know your mate. It would be beneficial if you shared the same marriage values. It would help if you both were respectful of one another. If you rush into marriage, you can make a mistake.

Choosing the appropriate mate is a sensitive undertaking in which you must be sure that you will be able to spend the rest of your life with that person. Anyone can put on a good show for a few days.

Check [Their] Ability to Cope With Family
In our lives, family plays an important part. What if your partner dislikes your parents or refuses to help you when they need you?

What if your parents don’t like them and can’t stand them, resulting in significant quarrels?

Parents are an essential aspect of a person’s life, and you should take their advice into account while deciding whether or not to marry.

You Can Connect Easily
Marriage is also built on a healthy exchange of ideas. You won’t be able to form a good bond with your partner if you can’t communicate with them. To make their relationship last, both partners should share everything.

Do Not Settle
It would help if you established your expectations for your partner. Their appearance, income, behavior, family background, personality, and various other factors all play a role.

If you settle for less, you will either lose respect for your partner, resulting in a divorce, or live in the misery of settling for less.

Michelle Shivers

Michelle Shivers

Michelle Shivers, relationship guide author at the best of psychic reading.
Sonya Schwartz

Sonya Schwartz

Sonya Schwartz, the founder of Her Norm.


My best advice for finding a partner is to look for someone who respects you. If your partner respects you, they will never do anything to hurt you.

Do You Share a Common Purpose and Life Goals?

Couples need to understand that when they plan to spend years together, it is vital that they find a common purpose or mission in life that interests them both and propels them to commit and contribute each day.

It may be the idea of nurturing a family, building a business or brand together, or doing something that helps them live a more fulfilling life. It could be as simple as a love for fitness or as challenging as setting up a non-profit together. But when two people find something common to do for the rest of their lives, they’d want to spend those lives together.

Mary Jurgensen

Mary Jurgensen

Mary Jurgensen, Community Outreach Director of Gary and Mary West PACE.
Rachel Fink

Rachel Fink

Rachel Fink is the founder of Parenting Pod, a site dedicated to family mental health, and positive and nurturing parenting.

Compatibility, Cohabitation, and Trusting Your Instincts

I have a few tips that might help you find a partner you can stay with without ending up in divorce.

1. You should share some common interests, and more importantly, you should share the same goals in life. If you don’t aim to go in the same direction, it’s not going to work out. It is also important to discuss your core values and beliefs right from the start.

2. I’ve had a few friends get married before having lived with their partner, and then the whole living together completely changed things. They realized that they weren’t happy together or that they handled situations in completely different ways, leading to arguments and a strained relationship. In my experience, it is preferable to have cohabited with your partner before marrying.

3. It can sound pretty cliche, but when you know, you know, or at least, that’s how I knew that my partner was the one for me. It just felt right. I felt loved and supported, and I could see us building a future together. I think that’s probably one of the most important things; if you can see a future and are both willing to work for that future, you’re likely to achieve it.

Five Tips For Finding A Partner You Can Stay Married To

  • Don’t be too pressured by society and your peers to get married.
  • Have confidence in yourself; you will find the right one when the right time comes.
  • Extend your social circle. Get to know more people by joining various groups with different interests.
  • Take your time to know the person, their preferences, values, and how they treat their family members and friends. It will reflect on how they will be in the future.
  • Don’t commit if you are not sure.
Jules Tan

Jules Tan

Jules Tan, Founder of Outdoormagnet.

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