Is it Possible to Have an Amicable Divorce?

Divorces are often challenging because of the emotions, pain, and anger involved. When couples focus on their pain and anger, things get messy. While it can be extremely difficult to put your differences aside and think clearly, it could make a world of difference in the divorce process. Keep reading for some tips on achieving an amicable divorce.

Gabriella Dylan Formosa

Partner at Greenblatt Law LLC.

Table of Contents

An Amicable Divorce is Possible When Legal Teams Encourage it

The easiest way to have an amicable divorce is, obviously, if both parties and counsel are committed to an amicable divorce. It is important to note that counsel needs to be on board too. So many amicable divorces have become contentious because a lawyer convinces their client that they must fight for every single thing they believe they’re entitled to.

Finding lawyers who can come up with creative solutions rather than fighting to the death for a black and white application of the law is really key. Generally, lawyers who are also trained mediators are a good choice for achieving an amicable outcome. They are more settlement minded and less apt to blow up a deal because they want to win.

It’s Possible with Collaboration and a Mediator

It is feasible if you choose to look at what you will lose if it is not amicable. The only way the courts have to assess anything is with finances. If your spouse is vindictive and wants more than what the courts may decide, then try appealing to their common sense. If they pursue an adversarial court proceeding, then the attorneys may be the “winners”. No one “wins” in a divorce. It is not just the end of marriage, it is the beginning of a new life that can only be obtained by a final dissolution.

Collaborative divorces can be more effective than adversarial when parties make decisions based on their unique situation. The court laws are sometimes a one-size-fits-all approach and it doesn’t take into account what is best for the children or the parties. If you collaborate in a divorce instead of competing or trying to inflict as much pain as possible on the other person, you will be able to navigate your new life faster and healthier.

In collaborative divorces, the couple can use a mediator and devise a plan for how they want to move forward.

Mary Joye

Founder of Winter Have Counseling.

Amy Colton

CDFA and Family Law Mediator at Your Divorce Made Simple.

Yes, With a Clear Plan and Proper Guidance

An amicable divorce is possible if you have a clear understanding of your options and follow a proven process. Most people entering the divorce journey don’t understand what the road ahead looks like. It is important to understand the options that are available to help them through this deeply emotional time. Being able to look at the pros and cons for decisions both parties make is very helpful. One party might want the marital home and the other the 401K.

Having discussions as to what each party wants at the beginning is most helpful in coming up with a divorce financial plan that both parties are happy with. Also, looking at the reality of what your life is going to look like after divorce is important.

Addressing the emotional, legal and financial aspects of divorce is critical to having an amicable divorce. Finding the right guide is crucial since you are making decisions that will affect the rest of your life.

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