Every relationship has disagreements and frustrations. If you start thinking or speaking about your partner with contempt, that’s a sign you may have moved past normal levels of conflict and annoyance. Contempt is when you look at someone with disdain and a lack of respect.
“I hate it when my partner won’t stand up for me with his family” differs from, “My partner is a spineless wimp who can’t stand up to his mommy.” If the latter is how you think about your spouse or how they speak about you, you may have reached a point where counseling and thoughtful conversations won’t help.
Partners with different outlooks can have a successful marriage. If they can find common ground or unite around the values they do share, their relationship can thrive. However, if your values differ fundamentally, there may not be enough common ground to keep you together.
Do you spend more time criticizing each other, being unsupportive, getting or having your feelings hurt, or disrespecting one another than caring for and supporting each other? If so, divorce can remove that overwhelming and unhealthy negativity from your life.
While the number of negative experiences may be more significant than how intensely you fight, severe arguments are still a bad sign. However, you can’t ignore fights that are exceptionally ugly or hurtful.
Successful relationships allow for conflicts. They stick to the subject at hand. If you and your spouse are frequently unable to do that when you disagree and your arguments are more about personal insults or criticisms than disagreements on a specific subject, it may be time to consult a divorce attorney.
Whether it stems from infidelity, discovered financial secrets, or a pattern of untruths, it’s tough to come back from a lack of trust. Occasionally, intense marriage counseling can repair broken trust.
However, if you aren’t making progress with your counselor or still feel you can’t trust your partner, this may validate feelings that your marriage is no longer the best thing for you.
If your spouse abuses you emotionally, physically, or sexually, your relationship is badly broken. For the sake of your well-being and the safety and mental health of your children, please consult a divorce lawyer if you are experiencing abuse. Getting out can save your mental health and even your life.